therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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