Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
