drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
