There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
