There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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