the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
organizing the empties. That sober.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
