Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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