you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
