There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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