I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
