You're my little dorito
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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