I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize