I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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