I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
