She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
