That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
