She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
