Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
