Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
