my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
two words: eviction party
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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