8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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