Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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