herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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