And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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