These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
