were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
