I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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