So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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