there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
