Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so let's talk penis.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
