ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
