$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize