FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
