Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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