After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
