This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
