69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
