is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize