she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i am craving dick and cupcakes
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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