I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize