If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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