when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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