but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
