I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
