I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
