just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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