so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
