Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
