My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
