mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
