Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
