Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
