Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
