Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
