I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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