I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
