My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
