If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
