Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
