Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
