so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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