If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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