I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
