That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
