Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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