I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
