Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
