she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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