I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
