i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
