my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
