Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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