I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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