she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
