I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
