I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
