love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
