I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
